Australian Food and Coffee: What to Order, and How to Order It
Australians will argue about a lot of things, but not about this: the coffee here is better than the coffee where you come from. It is a point of national pride bordering on religion, and understanding why, and how to order it, is the fastest way to stop feeling like a tourist. This guide covers the coffee, the pub, the café and the dishes worth crossing the world for, and the small rules of eating out that nobody explains.
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Coffee: the rules
Australia's coffee culture came with Italian and Greek migrants after the Second World War and grew into something distinct: espresso-based, milk-focused, made by skilled baristas in small independent cafés, and taken seriously to a degree that strikes visitors as slightly unhinged. Starbucks tried to enter the market in 2000, opened 87 stores, and closed 61 of them eight years later. That tells you what you need to know.
Flat white: espresso with steamed milk and a thin layer of velvety microfoam. Smaller and stronger than a latte, less foam than a cappuccino. This is the national drink. Order it.
Long black: hot water with a double espresso poured over it, so the crema survives. The Australian americano, and better.
Short black: an espresso.
Piccolo: a small latte in a glass, roughly a ristretto with a splash of milk. Melbourne's mid-afternoon order.
Magic: a double ristretto with flat-white milk in a small cup. Melbourne-only, and Melburnians will be delighted you know it.
Cappuccino and latte: exist and are fine, but a cappuccino will come with chocolate on top and a latte in a glass.
"Regular" or "large": most cafés have two sizes. Regular is right.
Expect to pay A$5 to A$6, more for oat or almond milk. Do not ask for a Frappuccino, a pumpkin spice anything, or coffee "to go" with a lid you can drink through; it exists, but it is not the point. Sit down, or stand at the bench and drink it in three minutes like a local. The best cafés are in the inner suburbs, not the CBD: Fitzroy, Carlton and Brunswick in Melbourne; Surry Hills, Newtown and Marrickville in Sydney.
The café: brunch is the meal
Australians invented modern brunch, or at least perfected it, and a weekend café breakfast running from 8am to 2pm is the country's real social institution. Smashed avocado on sourdough with feta, chilli and a poached egg is the dish that launched a thousand think-pieces, and it is genuinely good. Also look for eggs Benedict, corn fritters, ricotta hotcakes, big breakfasts with bacon, sausage, mushrooms and hash browns, and a rotating list of seasonal things involving haloumi. Expect A$18 to A$28, table service, and no obligation to tip. Queues at the good places on a Sunday are normal; put your name down and walk around the block.
The pub: how it works
The pub is where Australia eats on a weeknight, and the system confuses visitors every time. Here it is.
Find a table and note the number on it.
Go to the bar or the bistro counter to order and pay for your food, giving your table number.
Order drinks at the bar separately, and pay as you go. Nobody runs a tab.
Food is brought to your table. Cutlery, sauces and water are usually at a self-serve station.
Do not tip. Staff are paid a full wage. Rounding up or leaving a coin is fine; 20 per cent is bizarre.
What to order at the pub
The parmi. Chicken schnitzel topped with tomato sauce, ham and melted cheese, with chips and salad. Called a parma in Victoria and a parmi everywhere else, and the argument over which is correct has outlasted several governments. Around A$26 to A$32 and enough for two.
The steak. Australian beef is superb and pub steaks are generous. Order it medium rare; well done will get you a look.
Fish and chips. Barramundi, flathead or snapper, battered or grilled, with lemon.
The Sunday roast in a country pub, if you find one.
Beer comes in a schooner (425 ml) in most states or a pot (285 ml) in Victoria. Ask for the local: Coopers in Adelaide, Little Creatures in Perth, Cascade or Boags in Tasmania, and a wall of craft taps everywhere.
Eating out: the small rules
BYO. Many restaurants, particularly Asian and suburban ones, let you bring your own wine for a corkage fee of a few dollars a bottle or per head. Look for "BYO" on the window. Buy from a bottle-o (bottle shop) on the way; supermarkets do not sell alcohol.
No tipping, no service charge. Prices include tax and a full wage. Some restaurants add a 10 to 15 per cent surcharge on Sundays and public holidays; it is listed on the menu and is legal.
Water is free and comes from the tap unless you ask for sparkling. Tap water is excellent everywhere.
"Entrée" means starter, and "main" means main. The American usage will get you a smaller plate than you wanted.
Card surcharges of 1 to 2 per cent are common at small places. Cash is disappearing.
Dinner is early. Kitchens in most places close by 9pm, earlier in the country. Cities have late options, but do not assume.
The dishes and snacks you should not leave without
A meat pie from a bakery, with tomato sauce, eaten standing up. Hot, flaky, minced beef and gravy. The national snack.
A sausage roll, its flakier cousin.
Barramundi, the great northern fish, grilled simply.
Moreton Bay bugs or Balmain bugs, small slipper lobsters, in Queensland and Sydney.
Sydney rock oysters and Tasmanian Pacific oysters, at a fraction of European prices.
Kangaroo, lean, dark and surprisingly good grilled rare. It is on many menus and it is the most sustainable red meat in the country.
Lamingtons, sponge cubes rolled in chocolate and coconut, and Anzac biscuits, oat and golden syrup, with your coffee.
Pavlova, the meringue dessert with cream and fruit that Australia and New Zealand both claim. Do not take a side.
Tim Tams, the chocolate biscuit. Learn the Tim Tam Slam: bite both ends, use it as a straw for your coffee, eat it as it collapses.
Vegemite, on hot buttered toast, spread very thinly. Visitors fail by applying it like jam. It is salty, savoury and, in the right quantity, excellent. Our guide to Australian food on Amazon has the export version.
A flat white, obviously, and a pot of tea in a country bakery.
Wine
Australia is one of the world's great wine producers and the cellar doors are a holiday in themselves: the Barossa and Clare near Adelaide for shiraz and riesling, the Yarra Valley an hour from Melbourne for pinot and sparkling, the Hunter Valley north of Sydney for semillon, Margaret River south of Perth for cabernet and chardonnay, and Tasmania for cool-climate everything. A day tour with a driver is the right way to taste properly. Our Australian wine regions post has the full tour.
Where the food is really good
Melbourne is the eating capital and knows it: Vietnamese on Victoria Street in Richmond, Greek in Oakleigh, Italian on Lygon Street, and laneway restaurants that punch at any city in the world. Sydney does seafood, Thai, Chinese and modern Australian with harbour views at a price. Adelaide has the Central Market, the best food market in the country, and the wine on its doorstep. Hobart has the produce. Brisbane, Perth and Darwin are underrated and cheaper. Everywhere, the suburbs beat the tourist centres, and the food court in an Asian shopping centre beats most restaurants in the CBD.
Order a flat white, eat a pie, have a parmi at a pub and a long brunch on a Sunday, and drink something from the Barossa with people who made it. You will have understood more about the country than a week of museums would have told you.
Cover photo via Unsplash.
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